While you may be drawn to fostering to love a child, please realize some kids aren’t ready to be loved—not by a stranger.

Just because I work in foster care didn’t make it easier when strangers made comments to or about my family, but I found it helpful to have a ready response. Here are five I often used to diffuse an awkward or insensitive comment.

Our kids saw foster care as exciting—Yay! A new brother or sister!—but they soon realized there was more to it than that. Our life as a family flipped upside down with each new placement, so we followed these guidelines to make sure our kids were not overwhelmed.

Talk honestly with your children about what foster care is and how having another child in your home will affect them.

More than 45 years ago, Church of the Servant asked a simple question: How can we get to know the neighbors in our city?

When José fled violence in South America, he knew education was his path forward in the U.S.

As a first-time adoptive parent, Dr. Kimberly Offutt had an idealistic vision of what “happily ever after” would look like. As a foster care worker, she knew the need was great for teens with trauma history, and she thought she was ready. But love, it turns out, does not undo a child’s deep wounds.

Fostering medically fragile children takes extra time, effort, care, but Bethany provides training and support so foster parents like Dan and Katy can provide a safe place for children to heal and thrive.

Church ministries should be making it evident that all are welcome and cared for—including foster families.

Will and Colleen don’t do anything halfway. So when they said yes to foster parenting, it changed their whole lives.